I got my smile back...

I used to have a constant smile on my face.  I had some friends who called me "Smiley".   I think that the Joy of the Lord naturally emitted itself on my face.  Then I got married!  Hang on, it's not as bad as that sounds... We were happily married, but we did as many practically thinking couples do- I began taking a pill that contained hormones to prevent our marriage from being blessed by children before we decided that we were ready.  When I introduced those chemicals to my system, I lost my smile.

We didn't realize it at the time, but in retrospect, we can see the challenges that came into our marriage, much at the hand of those hormones and our lack of awareness.  We've been married  16 1/2 years and God has blessed our home with 3 children so far.  We have made many decisions that were cultural and typical for young Christian couples, but we would NOT make the same decisions if we had it to do over again.

Most likely we would have 6+ additional members of our family if we did not take these matters into our own hands.  When we became aware of our enormous oversight and our heart for children and trusting God- even in this arena, we pursued adoption.  We were inches from being ready to receive a child through the blessing of adoption, and then our circumstances changed and we had to pause our adoption.  Our heart for orphaned children and adoption did not change, but we were unable to adopt circumstantially.  We still have an open heart and an open home and we look forward to how God will bless our threshold in the future.  In the meantime, we have been blessed IMMENSELY by family and friends through their adoptions.  We've been able to pray for, write recommendation letters for and serve alongside families who have experienced the miracle of adoption. What a delight it has been! 
The joy of motherhood  and new life is not for me first-hand today...but still, we are seeking to walk in God's will, and trust Him implicitly.  This manner of walking out my Christian faith has brought my smile back...  

I realized it while at the conference in Florida.  It hit me while standing in the conference center praising God in worship with hundreds of men and women who are serving God by serving the 'least of these' all over the world!  I cried as we praised God together and I realized how lovingly God has renewed my smile!  He has led us down a path of twists and turns- many of which make little sense to an outsider looking in- but we know that He is trustworthy and faithful- and He has been gently preparing us so that we can trust that our lives and our home will be blessed in spite of a lack of trust or areas of misunderstanding that we have allowed to impact our lives.  We continue to step forward in faith and we are thrilled to know that the desires of our heart will be fulfilled as we align our heart to HIS.  Widows, Orphans, Unreached, Hungry, Naked, Thirsty.  We are grieved by the circumstances of God's children all around us, as is our Heavenly Father- Grief that produces bold action in Jesus' name is new for us- and I pray that it never becomes old.

With smiles that have a sovereign source, we celebrate this new year with  Love, Joy, and Peace.