Little did I know

I'm a bit of a stalker.

We live a bit out of the way, so if I have the chance to "get to know" someone, I do it, even if only virtually!

This morning as my minion stalkers were "doing research" we happened upon a website that plainly, clearly called me out- It gave statistics on why missionaries go "home" , as this ministry is working to lessen the numbers of families/couples/individuals who come to a far away land to share of the Father's love, only to spend years in the process of praying, selling, training, praying, making new homes, language learning, STRUGGLING, praying, and hopefully, ministering in the name of Jesus to those who have not heard of His great love- and then they leave. unplanned, embarrassed, scared and confused.

There is a LOT of time, energy and expense poured into an invaluable goal… proclaiming the gospel is worth it all- but are our goals being met??

As I read over this website, I was brutally convicted-
I had heard that the number one reason missionaries leave prematurely is because of conflict amongst other missionaries… and I agree, living among other passionately 'called' people is challenging some days.

But today I read that they don't leave earlier than planned because of sickness, lack of funds or persecution as often as they leave because of personal spiritual discipline, marriage and parenting struggles, team dynamics and a lack of ability to engage with their host culture…

Wow.

I'm not leaving Burkina, but boy do I feel my lack of personal spiritual discipline…

I share this because I almost haven't realized that surviving in a harsh environment drives me to my knees in prayer, but unfortunately I rarely am able to grab hold of the Truth of God's word and the comfort of His love for myself.  I can speak of it, shine His truth on the dark situations in the lives of my neighbors, but I have to confess that I am in a sinking little tug boat- and I know that I'm not alone!

I don't want to allow the distractions, interruptions and busy-ness to lure me away from my Father and His word!  He is working miracles around me, and somehow I have thought that if I don't answer the door, I am failing the proclamation of the gospel… as if it depends on me!?!  So silly...

As I type, I am reminded of the encouragement we often receive, "Ministry is what happens in the interruptions!!"  This is very true but can also be debilitating.  It's not an option to be so available to my neighbors, my kids, my church or whatever, that I don't have my source of strength firmly engaged…

For our first 10 months here, we had weekly conversations about the very real possibility of not making it.  Those conversations are few and far between now, and we are firmly and joyfully committed to the work that the Lord so graciously places before us each day- but wow, were we in a bad spot- for a long time…

Not talking about it, or talking about it doesn't really seem to make a marked difference, when you have to pass every second in a place of discomfort, fear, uncertainty, confusion…  I've just found that it is brutal to feel like I can't be honest.

If you are called, you will be happy.
If you are sick, just go home… um, we are sick regularly- there are five of us, if it's not some horrendous thing on our skin, it's tummy troubles, or headaches from the thick saharan dust that we attempt to breathe while sweating profusely trying to fill barrels to filter water to rehydrate ourselves from all our lost fluids through sweat!  I say all of it with a smile- because God is amazing and He has allowed us to see things we ached to know of when we were soaking up the luxuries of our former North American life.

Little did I know!

Sometimes life feels precarious because it IS

Prayer of Faith

 James 5:17 says, "Elijah was a man with a nature like ours and he prayed fervently that it might not rain, and for three years and six months it did not rain on the earth."

As a middle aged American homeschool mom, I am learning how to live and pray alongside people in a new culture, new country and new mindset.

Love, Joy, Peace, Patience, Kindness, Goodness, Gentleness, Faithfulness, Self-Control

 My kids feel like oddities, are laughed at, yelled at and stared at every day- and they want to be here-sort of

where water is pulled up, one arm length of rope at a time.

So as Elijah, 'a man with a nature like ours' prayed fervently- we pray fervently.

I am a part of a family, and we are slowly learning how to pray fervently and live peacefully

 We are sinners in need of the power of the Holy Spirit to get us through each day

- each moment, really

"For the kingdom of God is not a matter of eating and drinking, 

but of righteousness, peace and joy in the Holy Spirit…" Romans 14:17

As our love deepens for the people of this land- our concern, confusion and compassion toward them grows exponentially.  

Prioritizing need in a galaxy of need feels paralyzing and at times, nauseating.  

Only the Holy Spirit can guide us through the daily decisions.

The ability to hear from the Lord amidst the clamor is something we are working on-  

the clamor of birth, sickness, celebration, death, confusion and error- 

Only with the Holy Spirit 

How do you wash your calabash?

I was thrilled when we were invited to a marriage seminar at our church… Aaron, not so much!

We were thankful for the opportunity to go, but it is still a huge challenge to do this kind of  "date-night"/"fun" stuff in French and Jula only- with no idea what we're walking into!  We should be used to it, but we're not- I still get excited, like I'm going to get to visit like "normal" and have sweet fellowship and chit-chat…Aaron is a realist, so he's not nearly as disappointed!

And when they said a potluck would follow, it really stressed me out…Do I bring my own plates and forks? Do I bring something totally American and potentially interesting to them, or do I stick with rice and sauce??

Thankfully, our day filled up fast and I had no time to fuss over the details, so we went from one event to the next, ending the day with the marriage seminar starting at 7:45, and then the communion meal started at 10:30 p.m!

The marriage discussion was eye-opening and interesting, but surprisingly the same as it would have been among our friends in the states!

Because we were there, the other couples (there were 6 others) often explained their situations with a disclaimer- "Maybe this is just in my ethic group, or in the African culture…"  We smiled knowingly, as they went on to explain their challenges of marriage- like communication, unmet expectations, financial stresses… all of areas of challenge within mine and other western marriages!


My favorite specific account was along the lines of, "My husband doesn't turn his socks right-side-out before leaving them on the bathroom floor 2 feet away from the laundry basket." The Burkinabé equivalent was, "He leaves his clothes in the salon, and when he goes to put them on the next morning, they aren't there, someone keeps moving them into the other room…and HE is frustrated that his clothes aren't where he left them.  Disgusting Sidenote- many of the african fabrics don't absorb moisture at all, so while they are sweaty and wet when you take them off, they aren't smelly or dirty so you can still re-wear them; so you hang them to out dry and put them back on the next morning.

You wash the calabash with leaves, but everyone knows that it's better to do it like my mom does it- with a corn cob- You're not doing it right... Kinda like when I married a granite contractor and wanted to scrub everything with Comet!

The times of fellowship together, sharing from our hearts, our experiences and our struggles, many of which are very much the same, are an encouragement and a blessing that help us to keep going through the tougher patches!  Praying alongside women like these is an experience and a privilege I don't want to take for granted!  I'm blessed to be able to hear the voice of a blind woman singing out praises to her Savior in a language that just received it's New Testament last year, and the Jesus Film last month!  

God is moving Mightily all around us, and the sad, awkward, misunderstood moments are no biggie in light of the changes we get to see and the lives we are able to pray for, live with and testify to!

Romans 12:13

Hebrews 13:1–2 says, "Let brotherly love continue. Do not neglect to show hospitality to strangers, for thereby some have entertained angels unawares."

Aaron spent time with a pastor and his family yesterday- he was warmly welcomed, fed and given testimony to God's love and miraculous hand in our daily lives... 

Their church is in the background, this is their kitchen/cooking area

 This is the moto used by this pastor to travel to further villages to evangelize and continue the work…don't miss that the front end is being stabilized with rubber straps!

Days like this, stopping in 5 villages to encourage, meet with village elders, cast vision for a future church and hear of hands-down, MIRACLES done by the Lord are what keep my husband smiling, seeking God, working hard and loving his neighbors.  

We thank the Lord Jesus Christ for the opportunity to live here and learn from the saints.

 Contribute to the needs of the saints, practice hospitality- Romans 12:13

In the "village of the big lion behind the river"

  Sunday we joined in the dedication of a newly constructed pastor's home.  We prayed over his home, sang praises to the Lord for His provision and celebrated this amazing gift together...

These little girls were playing a mancala-type of game…

 I didn't stay long!

 They prepared a nice meal for us, and we had a great afternoon

Love the hand on the hip!!

Women's Day!

We went to our first Women's Day celebration!

Our church is led by men who value women according to God's word.
Purposing to empower and validate women toward God's highest calling on their lives sets a man apart  in this context.
So when tents and guest speakers arrive, and a soccer match, ballet and chorale is prepared, and a meal of 110 pounds of rice is shared with any who would come-
the women of the village feel important, appreciated and loved!

  As pastors are trained and sent out to "plant" a new church- they begin praying, teaching, and building relationship as they watch the Holy Spirit work.   At first, the church is filled by children and women.  

Sometimes a church of only women and children can feel less legitimate.
 But when pastors see their church fill with hearts seeking Truth, Love and Power- lives are changed, and the Light of Jesus shines.
May God richly bless these men and their families who serve His children!

These are church planters. Faithful. Diligent.

Our pastor's wife, serving the masses in her 'sport' clothes after the Women vs. Girls Soccer match!

Strawberries!

Before we eat fruits and veggies, we wash them super well-  first in tap water, then soak them in bleach water, and finally rinse them in filtered water…these strawberries were just beautiful in their little bathtub!

Marie helps us in the house as we battle the dust of the Sahara, washing everything we eat, and freezing treats like carrots and strawberries to hopefully enjoy more than one month of the year!  We are so thankful that the Lord brought her to us.  She is an answer to much prayer and we enjoy and appreciate her presence in our life.

This week, Marie asked if she could ask me a question…it's kind of a joke, because I ask her about a hundred questions a day- about language, fashion, culture, Christianity, being a woman in Africa…

  

"What are the red things in the refrigerator?"  

It was such a joy to share our special strawberries with her! She knew the word, and had tasted strawberry flavored candy, but she'd never eaten the real thing!

She loved them!

A beautiful day in the neighborhood

A pack of boys came to the door for water on a hot, hot day and as they pass around the cup of refrigerated water, we get to chit chat, laugh and talk about France, where they think we are from, because we're white!  They commented on the snow that falls there, and one tried to tell about the time he went to France- the others quickly called him a liar and changed the subject!

Eventually they pulled Valentines and fake flowers out of their backpack (one kid was hauling all the loot for the 5 other boys- who had no backpacks) in honor of St. Valentine… courtesy of their catholic school!

I'm trying to understand the cultural implications of each of these conversations with my neighbors, learning how they relate to each other, what they expect of a neighbor, and searching out our spot among them!

My favorite neighbor is Aisha- she's three months old- and an absolute dollie!

The little ones aren't scared of us yet, so it's great to get to interact and bless their moms with a little time without 10 pounds of body heat strapped to their backs as they haul wood, cook food, hand wash laundry, sweep the courtyard, etc.

After loving on Aisha, her mama took the opportunity to offer some fashion advice…

I was wearing a red and white skirt with a black top, and was informed that it just didn't work... I should wear a shirt that is the same color as my skirt.  Even in extreme poverty, we are to dress our best, wear decent shoes and keep our clothes clean and pressed- we definitely didn't expect that!! I thanked her for her help, told her that there is no chance of me wearing a white shirt in Burkina, and went on my merry, unfashionable way!!

Lonely but Strong

It seems like some people have an easier time moving to a third world country after having been born into a first world country.  They are laid back, relaxed, accepting of differences, and ready to roll with anything.

And then there's us- we see the teeniest details.  We walk into a room and feel the temperament of the people in it.  If you are having a bad day, one of my kids will cue in and ask me about it afterward.  We take it all in, and process it all- emotional, spiritual, physical inputs are intense and don't stop.  We debate minutia and call it fun.  We wrestle with God, His Word, and each other as our eyes are seeing things we never knew to be real.

This hasn't made us bad at what we are here to do, but it has made it very difficult for us to take it all in, enter into life and be communicative missionaries who write often and "take our friends with us on the journey" in Burkina Faso.

Had I 'brought you with me', you would have been a sweaty hot mess, overloaded on carbohydrates and underloaded on protein- You may have been aghast at the immodesty, confused by the oxymoronic parts of life and tired of being the brunt of laughter, even when it is harmless and friendly!

We've been lonely but strong.

We have felt dread and eager anticipation at the exact same moment.

We've longed for a plane ticket out of here, yet know that we are exactly where we should be.

To chit-chat about these things is confusing-

Good missionaries are "called", and therefore are "happy".

They thrive on adventure.  They long to eat caterpillars and drink cupfuls of giardia.

The good missionaries won't mention the difficulty in maintaining a healthy marriage amidst language learning and culture shock.

So neither will I.

I'll just say that the complaints of Gladys Aylward or Jim Elliot were nothing compared to the thoughts I have every hour of every day.   I've read the missionary biographies.  They have encouraged us and challenged us and given me preconceived ideas of how to "be" good.  And yet, here I am.  Still me- living in Africa, finding my place in this community, loving the people and holding on tight as God leads us forward 

for His Names' sake.

I knew hypothetically that God could use me to share His love and shine His light in a dark place.  I knew that I would still be me, and that His grace and the power of the Holy Spirit would carry us through these days; but I thought that I would be transformed from a reg'ler old person into Super Christian  something else.

The five of us have felt closer to our sinny, sinny, selves than ever before- and even in the thick of it we see God's love covering over so that churches can be planted where there are none, and so that men who practice witchcraft will burn their fetishes and praise the name of Jesus!

 And he commanded us to preach unto the people, and to testify that it is he which was ordained of God to be the Judge of quick and dead.  To him give all the prophets witness, that through his name whosoever believeth in him shall receive remission of sins.

Acts 10:42-43